Pastor, I am facing a great trial.
I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months only. Together we have learned and experienced many things for the first time.
I am 29; he is 26. We both had sex for the first time now, with each other.
I did not tell anybody about being pregnant yet. I am very distressed.
I have struggled with myself and especially with God.
I need help, please.
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Reply:
Dear friend,
May God bless the little life that is on the way, or rather, is there already.
There is not much to do now but deal with the situation in a sensible way.
If you love each other, you are fortunate. Get married and take care of the child you are going to have.
If you think it was a mistake, a slip, something you do not want — at least not as the reason for you to marry —, then, dear friend, tell him what is happening and ask him to provide you with support to have and take care of the baby. Besides, do not let any weight of guilt into your womb.
As for having “discovered things with each other”, that’s good. I wish all couples had the chance to know each other only. The best of all worlds is when two people truly love each other.
Everything is much simpler when you have loved and had only one person in your entire life—if there is mutuality, of course.
You are no longer a child. As a 29-year old, you can and should take up your responsibility. Do not let anyone treat you as if you were retarded.
He is younger, and quite often there is a significant emotional maturity difference between men and women. A woman is usually much more mature than a man her age.
However, when I was his age I was a father of three already. Therefore he will only be childish if he wants to. He is old enough to be a man. I hope he acts like one.
But if you note any hesitation on his part, do not force anything.
Moreover, never marry only to please your families, the church or society. This would be a much greater evil.
For the rest, write me and tell me how the father is dealing with it and how you feel about the pregnancy.
I will be praying for you.
Be calm. You are neither inaugurating a new era nor finishing an old one. That has always happened and will keep happening—every day.
In Him, who was born under unusual circumstances,
Caio
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Translation: F. R. Castelo Branco | October 2007
From the original “SOU SOLTEIRA E FIQUEI GRÁVIDA”
